A few thoughts for Tisha Be'av (today, 9th Av, is a fast day where we mourn the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem.)
--- At a doctor appointment that baby Berel accompanied me to, I was obviously wearing my mask. All went well until Berel decided that 1) 'Mummy has to hold me throughout the appointment' and 2) 'That horrible mask does not belong on mummy's face!' He wouldn’t stop pulling it off me.
This is exactly what we demand from G-d today.
"G-d! Don't make us feel unsafe. Hold us. Show us You are with us." Indeed, we are told 'I am with him in his pain' (Psalms). G-d does hold us and embrace us throughout any pain we've encountered. He is our merciful father. Not only that, but it's His pain too.
What if we ask, "If it is Your pain, then why do You let it go on?..."
The Rebbe explains that G-d has mercy for us. But we cannot relate to it. It's hidden from our view. Hiding behind a mask. But G-d is still there and the mercy is still there... And the incredible thing that we see in times of persecution in History is how Jews were able to point out G-d's presence despite going through horror. They were able to tap into that feeling that somehow G-d is with them.
But today we are not satisfied.
"G-d, take off Your Mask already. You've been hiding behind this mask for too long. It's been too long that we don't see Your Hand openly, we don't see Your Face shining upon the world. (G-d does not have a form of a hand and a face. These words are used as metaphors for G-d expressing Himself to us in the world.) We don't want any more pain, even if You're there behind your mask. Let's just have times of pure joy when we can recognise Your Greatness.
-- One more story about Berel. For some reason even though he's been cruising since he was 7 months old, and he knows how to walk, he just isn't interested. He makes one or two rounds around the table each day. Otherwise that's it. Crawling will do.
I thought that the park would spark his interest and get him to walk around and explore. So I put him down on the ground and sat on the bench near him. Guess what happened? After about one minute, he chose to cling on to me on the bench and stayed like that until we went home.
I almost heard Berel saying to me, "I don't want your park, I just want you Mummy."
See, Tisha Be'av also has another theme. The theme of Ahavat Chinam - to love someone for absolutely no reason other than because they have a precious soul. We are told that the opposite behaviour - baseless hatred - is what caused the destruction of the Temple to begin with.
Even when someone is driving us mad, we can say to ourselves, "OK. I don't want their friendship because they did me any kindness, I don't want their friendship because they are the coolest person to be around.. But I DO want their friendship, just for them themselves.
We can work to knock down those layers separating between us and another person. Layers of difference in political opinions or religion. Maybe layers of misunderstanding or mistakes. And we can find that common denominator that we both have. Watch the purity and strength of the friendship when you build a friendship like that.
Like it says in Ethics of the Fathers, any love that depends on a condition, dissolves when that condition exists no longer. But a love that does not depend on one condition will last forever.
And when we show G-d how we are ready to accept and embrace each other unconditionally, He will reciprocate with a Hug of His own, with the rebuilding of the third Temple in Jerusalem and with a world of peace amongst all mankind.
